I am struggling lately with being a full time working mom. I go back and forth on it all the time. On one hand I want to show my girl’s that you can have a career and have kids. On the other hand I just love my kids and want to be there for them more.
My oldest is starting kindergarten this year and I cannot handle it. I am able to drop her off, but the daycare will be picking her up. My daughter is so sad because she wants me to be able to pick her up and so do I. The fact that money rules my life so much kills me.
If I stay working full time it will continue to be a time crunch all the time. By the time we get home I rush to cook dinner. Then we have about 30-45 minutes of play time before we have to start bath time. Maybe there is time to color a page but then it’s book time and bed time.
What is going to happen when she starts school? When I feel like she will need me more than ever. She will have homework; will I have the mental strength left in my day to help her? It is not even a question, yes I will have to help her no matter what my day was like.
It is unfair to my kids that sometimes they don’t get 100% mommy. Their childhood is just flying past me. I know it is just part of life but I wish I could fix that.
You have no ideal how many times I have convinced myself to go part time. I do really like my job that is part of the problem. I don’t think they would even allow me to go part time. Then I would have to start over some where else and that sounds terrible. I actually have a future at my current job and I don’t want to mess that up.
What is more important…my kids of course. You have to think about yourself as well. What my future will be after my kid are grown and I can work full time again. Will anyone want me at that point?
This is a major internal struggle I deal with on the regular. So just in case you are a mom struggling with this decision you are not alone. Whatever you chose to do it right. It’s okay to have a full time career and it’s okay to chose to stay home.