This past year I have finally learned how to be angry. Now I know that sounds silly because I’m 30, of course I have been mad before. This year is different I can actually confront my feelings and the person I’m mad at.
I’m a people pleaser at heart, I want everyone to like me and no on have bad feelings towards me. Even when I was little I would make myself sick to my stomach trying to be perfect.
So what did it? What finally let me breathe and express my Anger? A number of factors I believe. I made a new friend that is a big one. We met at work and instantly became friends. Having someone I trust to vent to about my life everyday is amazing. Not that I don’t have other friends I do. It is just hard to have time outside of work and my kids.
I also started going to therapy. Someone who has no prejudgement to my life. Someone who can give me professional advise to help me better myself and hold me accountable to my word.
The more I focused on myself instead of worring about everyone else’s feelings the better I felt. I’m not going to lie I went overboard for a minute. My boyfriend had no idea what was happening. However, my anger has made our relationship so much better. Me keeping my feelings inside lead to anger on his side that he couldn’t resolve because I wouldn’t talk about it.
Imagine being really mad at someone and instead of confronting them you just shut down. You become quite, distant and eventually you get depressed. Anxiety kicks in you don’t want to deal, terrified of the outcome. You have to get strong. Find someone to help you through your feelings.
If someone doesn’t like your new found strength and power then they don’t deserve you. So don’t be afraid to piss someone off, express what you are feeling. I feel keeping everything inside can destroy who you are. You are awesome so don’t let this overtake your life. You can take baby steps into it and move at your own pace.
I am still working on myself it is not something that is fixed overnight. Just take the first step and try to talk to someone you trust. Go find you!